I am not coming into work today because:
10. My dog eat my car keys and I am waiting to them to come out the other end.
9. Space Aliens have kidnapped me, I am on Mars. The view is great up here! I just wish they would quit probing me! I am not some lab rat.
8. I took the Internet Super Highway to work. I think I took a wrong turn this does not look like a highway. I think I am completely lost and who knew it is not a real highway?
7. I through this was the first day I was to work from home. What do you mean you do not offer work from home for my position?
6. You remember where the Bible said it rained for forty days and nights? I am waiting for the flood waters to go down.
5. I got eaten by a big fish. I am sure I will get out of here in three days.
4. I won the lottery. I am buying the company. Your hired!
3. I am the President. I am going on vacation. I worked so hard on my last vacation last month or was it last week.
2. I stopped at Wal~mart on the way to work just to get one thing. Forty cash registers only 5 open and lines going through women's clothing.
1.I just did not feel like getting out of bed. Jerry Springer and the Football games are on today.
This post is in honor of my perfect attendance at work for 2011. When I call in sick for work you know I am almost dead.